Folks, the term ” Going To Hell In a Handbasket” dates back to the 1800’s. It simply means the world is in a heap of trouble. The basket implies swift and irrevocable transport to doom.

Presently I have several categories which refer to my ” heaps of trouble”, possibly more to follow. Of course Hitler and Putin and the cowards that have gunned down innocnet children and adults head the list. Not wishing any harm or doom on my nominees (except Putin), it may come as a surprise to the ones that made ” my list”.

A. Politicians that promise, ” if elected when I get to Washington I will lower taxes, reduce the price of gas, end wars, and clean up the corruption in Washington”. No, if you are elected as a Democrat the first thing you will do is report to Speaker of the House Nany Pelosi for your marching orders. If you are a Republican, the first thing you will do is report to Speaker of the Senate Mitch McConnell to recieve your marching orders. Why? Because these two politicans control the purse strings for each party. And who do you think controls these two people? you guessed it, the lobbyist and large political donors. Money talks and B.S. walks.

B. Social media. The catalyst for the downfall of the world. Yes, mental illness and hate maybe the culprit for mass shootings, but where does the brainwshing begin?

C. Irresponsible parents. How the hell do you not know where your son or daughter are at two o’clock in the morning? Then you are surprised when little Johnny is suspended from school for having a Glock 9 in his lunch box. It is a good thing I do not make the laws. If little Johnny brought a gun to school, no matter the age, it is a mandatory thirty-day sentence in jail which includes his parents on weekends.

D. Shows like Entertainment Tonight, Wendy Williams ( now defunct) and reality shows as the one with Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie. It’s amazing how these programs put people like Johnny Depp, Amber Heard, Jada Pickett, and of course the KARDASHIANS on pedestals. Do these folks even know what is happening in the real world.

E. Owners of professional sports teams. Being of sound body and mind ( I think) can you justify paying an athlete $400,000,000? I am not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but how long does it take to get a return on almost a half-billion for one player.

F. Vladimir Putin. How can one man with the ” small man syndrome” hold the world at hostage? Yes, I know Russia has nuclear missile and diplomacy may eventually win out, but in the meantime Ukraine is being slaughtered. Where is Rambo when we need him?

G. Power hungry greedy people. How much is enough? Period.

Maybe more time should be spent studing the Ten Commandments than nikpicking the Constitution of the United States. It is cocktail time.

Be safe.

For those of you that watched Eddie Murphy’s funny movie ” Coming To America ” for me the scene’s that stole the show were the regulars in the barber shop. In my day wheather you lived in a small town or a large city the local barber shop was a favorite gathering place on Saturday. It did not matter if you needed a haircut or not, this was the You Tube connection of the fifties.

Azzie’s barber shop was the hot spot on Saturdays. Preachers, teachers, and ” candle stick makers” jockeyed for a sitting place at Azzie’s on Saturday. Azzie which we assumed was his Christian name met all the criteria physically and mentally for the local long time barber. He was a small man with full white hair around the ears and neck. However over the years mother nature had other ideas about the remainder of his head, slick as a cue ball. Azzie knew more about the comings and goings of the people than anyone in town. His mind was a mental file for business matters, personal matters, behind closed door matters, but his confidentiallty was never shared not even with his wife. On the other hand , Azzie’s clientele could not wait to share fact or fiction to who ever would listen.

All one needed to do was sit and wait for your haircut and take in the weeks happenings. If a reality show awarded emmy’s Azzie’s would have won hands down. All you had to do was walk down the street after a visit to hear all the rumor mills.

” I heard Troy laid out Friday night drunk as a skunk, losing all his mill wages gambling. Poor Mary and those children”. ” Where did you hear that”? ” At Azzie’s, Luther blared it out when was getting his trim”.

My small town had almost as many colorful characters as Damon Runyon’s short stories on the personalities of New York’s Broadway. One such personality was Mr. Joe B. He owned the textile mills and rich to the bone. He pretty much controlled the livelihoods of every one in town. Mr. Joe would double park his Cadillac to get a hair cut and the local sheriff would direct traffice around the Caddy until he returned. Tough luck if he had blocked you in, no one asked Mr. Joe to move his car. No matter how long you had been waiting for your haircut, when Mr. Joe walked in, he was next in line.

Another interesting character was Preston R. Every three months he would come to town for a gratuitous haircut. Why gratuitous, Azzie wanted him in and out as soon as possible since he had not bathed in weeks. Preston was our local Jeremiah Johnson ( Robert Redford’s character in the movie of the same name-Goggle it-good movie) Preston lived deep in the woods and was basically self-sustaining. If the town folks knew Preston was in town, they would peep in Azzie’s window to watch the shearing of the sheep so to speak. Word was Azzie used hedge clippers to cut the thick matted hair. Preston had no means of transportation. He hitch-hicked everywhere when he needed supplies. When he did make it to town, it was usually in the back of a pick up truck because no one wanted him in the cab.

One of the coolest characters, with no shame was Mr. Singletary. He was alway seeking an honest opportunity as long as it was cheap and to his advantage. He was notorious for canvassing the local churches to see which one was having dinner on the ground for Sunday’s service. When Mr. S. would enter Azzie’s the joke of the day was, “Mr. S. are you Baptist, Methodist, Presbyterian, or Pentecostal this week”? With a smile he would reply, ” Baptist this week. Ms. Cain’s chicken and dumplings are the best in the county”. Of course Mr. S. never left without his doggie bag.

Not that I considered myself a local character, but I to took my lumps over the years at Azzie’s. In those days high school athletics was treated with royality for bragging rites and such with the other small towns. Being a jock at the time, you were either a hero one week or a has been the next. For this particular time frame our local basketball team was fifteen and zero going into Friday’s night’s game. As fate would have it, we lost by one point and second , Saturday was the day I was to get my flat top crew cut at Azzie’s. Walking into Azzie’s I was greeted by an angry mob. Never knew the local preacher had those words in his vocabulary.

” What the hell was wrong with you guys last night, you could have not guarded my eighty year old grandpa. If I was the coach your butts would be running from the school to the mill”.

I had learned to handle the criticism. What I could not handle was Azzie leading the rat pack, knowing I was next for my haircut.

Be safe.

If you have never visited one of the following, please raise your hand: Goodwill, Salvation Army Discount, Ebay, Poshmark. WOW, very hands went up.

In my small hometown when Spring had sprung, there was one thing happening besides Dogwoods and Azaleas blooming, you guessed it ” yard sales”. On a given Saturday the most fugual household would use gallons of gas searching for the the must have treasure without a clue what they were looking for. We are talking about items priced at one to two dollars. If the seller wanted fifty-cents for said item, it would be priced at one dollar. Thus it became the art of the deal. My major responsibility was chauffeuring my mom from yard sell to yard sell. I must admit it was more interesting being a people watcher than the chaos of being a purchaser.

Fast forward to 2022′. If you are a people person, may I suggest a visit to your local Goodwill Store. On a given day you will observe the free enterprise system up close and personal. Not only are the prices great, but the way the customers shop is mind blowing. In my frequent visits I have categorized the shoppers into three groups. First is the professional Goodwill shopper. They can go through a rack of clothes quicker than Popeye downs a can of Spinach. Second is the designer shopper. They can spot a Calvin Klein, Christian Dior, or Michael Kors with the same radar as the best bird dog freezing over a covey of quail.

Then there is the third shopper, yours truly. Over the years we have contributed greatly to the Goodwill Stores, so it is fun to check out the “stuff” that may be some one else’s treasure. On a recent visit I came across a great Foot Joy ( golfers will recognize the FJ brand ) golf shirt. After paying a whooping four dollars for my find, I rushed home to show my treasure to my better half. As I modeled the FJ laughter filled the room. Inquiring what was so humerous? My wife informed me ” You donated the FJ golf shirt four weeks ago.”

Be safe

To the fifty year old and younger followers out there, the Three R’s are not associated with todays world of Acronyms. Examples: OMG ( oh! my God), IDK (I don’t know), LOL ( laught out loud), JK (just kidding), TYSM (thank you so much), NP (no problem), NBD ( no big deal), LMK ( let me know), and finally TMI ( to much info.) Whew!! Where was I?

In my day ( almost before electricity) the day you walked into your first grade class two things happened, you learned your teachers name and the Three R’s. Even though two were mispelled it was as follows: Reading, Riting, and Rithmetic. As clumsy as it sounds, those three words have stuck with me like fleas on a junkyard dog. Of course as you progressed in school you cherry picked the “R” that appealed to you. Todays math drives me into a frenzy as it did then, so Reading and Riting appealed to me. I still count the months of the year on my fingers. Not to embarrass myself I do place my hands under my legs when counting on my fingers.

Of the three R’s, reading and riting were my two life lines. For me these two R’s allowed the opporunity put myself in the moment wheather reading a novel or piecing together an eassy for an English class. At this time (sounds the horns) I would like to offer my contributio to the world of todays acronyms, HRS. According to a recent survey by whomever “they” are, we retain 10% of what we hear, 20% of what we read and 80% of what we see. We can all agree to disagree with this survey, which I do. To me retention for an individual can be a slippery slope. You have heard the old adage, ” monkey see monkey do”, photographic memory-ability to recall in great accuracy, and for the mathematician, pi r-squared equal to? Of the three R’s, feel free to pick your poison.

I want to end this madness with three simple questions: 1. Did the doctor tell me to take two pills every four hours, or four pills every two hours. When all else fails READ the directions. 2. Can the world as we know it learn without being able to READ and comprehend? If so according to the afore mentioned survey, books will become null and void in the near future. 3. Without a cheat peek what does the acronym TYSM refer too? If you got it correct without looking, welcome to the 20%.

Be safe

Yes Irene, what-not is a legitimate term found in Webster’s Dictionary. A what-not is a set of open shelves for bric-a-brac ( laymans terms-a place when you placed personal or loved memorabilia).

Thinking back through our what-not, it consisted of items that had a history all their on. My contribution has a history as well. The item has little monetary value, but to me it is priceless.

A short history for the item. My sister and I ( twelve and nine respectively) had picked cotton for one week. For the week we probably netted a cool $10.00 apiece.

As we walked past the Five and Dime General Store, my $10.00 was ” burning a hole in my pocket” ( an old Southern term referring to gotta spend some money). I, being an implusive shopper did not have the slighest idea what I was looking for. For some reason I was drawn to a ceramic statue of a brown dog hovering over his food bowl. My reasoning was two fold, one it was a replica of my first dog Brownie and two would my mom like it. I cannot remember the purchase price, but it was probably less than a dollar.

Arriving home, I handed my mom the brown paper bag as if it were a king’s ransom. Opening the bag she commented, ” Brownie will look great on the what-not.

Brownie the ceramic dog sat on the family what-not until my mom’s passing in 2007′. I have Googled the figurine on the internet seeking more history for a brown dog hovering over his food bowl, but to no avail. I have surmised Brownie is a one-of-a-kind solely intended for my mom’s what-not.

Currently Brownie has a second home at our residence sitting on a chest of drawers in our bedroom. After eighty plus years he is still hovering over the food bowl waiting to be fed. It is almost impossible to miss Brownie as you wake every morning. It is also impossible to fathom how a one-dollar purchase eighty plus years ago has so much history behind his sad eyes. Maybe, just maybe as he celebrates another year I will throw the dog a bone.

Be safe.

Castro-oil is not a product you purchase from Auto Zone or NAPA Auto Parts. Further if you are fifty years old or younger, the product is probably foreign to you.

As you are aware all the symptons for Covid, the flu, common cold, Delta and Omicron are very similar. Having followed all the precautions for the above, my better half decides in our best interest maybe we need to purchase some cold and flu medications. To escape a case of cabin fever, I volunteered with instructions on brand names, aisle, were they four hour, eight hour, twelve hour, or good until your next birthday. And ask the pharmacist if it counteracts with any meds. you are taking.

When I get to the proper aisle the shelves are as empty as the bread and milk shelves when an inch of snow if predicated for the South. Like an NFL football player falling on a fumble in the super bowl, I grabbed the first box that read, ” good for flu and cold”. Making a mad dash to the register, I yelled to the pharmacist, ” can I take these with blood pressure med.”? I think she said, ” read the label”. Arriving home I offered my find like a sacrifice to my better half. ” you realize this is two capsules every four hours. Did they not have the twelve hour”?

Yesteryear in my small home town, your medicine cabinet consisted of two products, alcohol and Castro-Oil, one size fits all. Castro-Oil was used for the following: pink eye, sore throat, ear ache, poison ivy, cuts, broken fingers, the flu, colds, measles, chicken pox, by now you get the picture.

Once you were forced to swallow a large tablespoon, it would stick to your throat like a tick on a hound dog. And yes I did read the label on the modern day med. to see it contained Castor-Oil as an ingredient, thank goodness NO. However I am getting up every four hours to take the required dosage. Did I say there are twenty capsules per package.

Be safe.

After the Thanksgiving feast I was enjoying family chatter, mixed with football, and the thoughts of a second slice of pie. Out of the blue one of my grandchildren announced, “It is five weeks until Christmas”. That grandchild was put in ” time out ” for ruining the mood. Of course one’s mind immediately turns to the commercial side of Christmas rather than the “REASON FOR THE SEASON”. Over the past few years at Christmas I have found my solitude in avoiding the stress factor by seeking simple pleasures.

Most of the simple pleasures are free of charge and/or only require a small amount of money. No matter your age, when was the last time you just sat outside under blue sky’s and watched cloud formations. It is amazing how you discover hearts, angel wings, and even face formations. Another freebie are our feather friends. They jockey for position waiting for a shot of sunflower seed thinking, ” Hey it’s my turn”. This is an oldie but goodie, ride through your neighborhood and marvel at how creative Christmas decorations have become. I kid you not, one of my neighbors has a twenty foot Snoopy dressed to the nines in Christmas attire, fantastic. And then there are the home made crafts ( yes we did ). We did twelve ( count them ) intimate mangers of baby Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. My fingers are still stuck together from the super glue.

Allow me to share my simple pleasure with you. Sitting in our living room with the beverage of choice, listening to Michael Buble Christmas music with soft Christmas lights, counting our Christmas lights. Before you judge, let me explain.

When I seem to disappear in the evening, my better half will say, ” Are you counting Christmas lights?”. Here is the deal, each light I count is referenced to a family member or close friend. The light is symbolic of a fond memory that occurred in past years or as recent as today. At times I find myself laughing out loud and other times there are tears that accompany that light. This year there is one light that is shinning brighter than all the others. Trust me, the old adage, ” I laughed until I cried” is alive and well.

So this Christmas season, find you a comfy chair near your tree, and count your lights. Bring the memories with you and maybe a Kleenex or two. Merry Christmas guys.

Be safe.

If I were to ask you, ” how many words are contained in Webster’s New World Dictionary ” ( yes young readers there are still dictionaries in today’s high tech. world ) what would you guess? Hmmmmm!–times up. Well, the answer is—not even Siri knows. The best scientific guess exceeds 1,250,000 words. Many words contain fourteen or more letters like congregational and ophthalmologist, but to me the most powerful word today contains three letters, WHY ?

Needless to say every parent hangs to baby’s first word, will it be mommy or daddy ? As the child grows so does it’s curiosity. Beware everyone because the day will come when the word ” WHY” becomes a major part of their vocabulary.

Allow me to name a few from yesteryear when we had to deal with that three letter word. ” WHY can’t I have more candy, WHY can’t I stay out later, WHY can’t I drive the car, WHY can’t I wear this outfit, WHY can’t I get a tattoo, I’m fourteen, and the worst of WHY’s, give me your cell phone? As chicken little would say, ” the sky is falling”.

With social media giving us a blow by blow of the world every thirty seconds, do you find yourself mumbling the three letter word “WHY”? ( and please spare this old guy regarding social media, OMG–TMI).

Good things happen to bad people, and bad things happen to good people. Being in my very late seventies I thought the “WHY”s in my life would become fewer and fewer, wrong. Young or old, the ” WHY’s” will never go away. How can one little three letter word create such a tidal wave of adversity in our lives? From the song of the same name,” I Did It My Way”, I try to deal with the “WHY’s” replacing it with a positive. My positive, ” God has a plan, and is still in control”.

Be safe.

WARNING: This blog will probably ” piss off ” some of the people that take the time to read it. I will soon be eighty years old, sooooo!!. What are you going to do, come whip my butt? Been there done that.

Was it Forrest Gump that said, ” my mom says stupid is, is stupid does”. Is it just me, but when I see adults on television or social media downplaying the effectiveness of the vaccine, I cringe. There are comments like, ” what are the side effects, there is not enough data, I know what is best for me and my children, wearing a mask is a violation of my civil rights and what makes up the vaccine formula”?

For the ” doubting Thomas intellectuals ” out there, allow me to ask you one question, ” Do the following ingredients comprise the Covid 19/ Delta Variance vaccine? Colloidal silicone, dioxide, corn starch, croscarmellose, sodium, lactose, cellulose propylene, titanium dioxide”? WHEW!!

Three, two, one, times up. Answer NO! The above ingredients refer to aspirin, Tylenol, Allegra, Zyrtec and other various pain medications. The next time you have a headache, backache, sneezing attack, or runny nose, call the powers to be with your ” cause ” and let them know the sodium ( salt ) in your Tylenol is making me gain weight. Here is some food for thought. When you get your flu shot, pneumonia shot, or shingles shot do you question why? Maybe, but in most cases you do it to keep from getting the flu, pneumonia, or shingles.

In 1998, I knew this fifty-seven year old guy that was diagnosed with stage four colon cancer. He was active, jogged, had his weight under control, a picture of health so he thought. After a routine company physical there were issues with his hemoglobin, x-rays revealed a tumor in the colon. The surgeon removed three feet of his colon to remove the tumor. Blessed with that news there was one other issue that needed addressing. There were thirteen renegade cancerous cells in various parts of his body. The chemotherapist prescribed twenty-four weeks of chemo treatments. After researching the side effects, he was very apprehensive about taking the treatments. He asked his doctor, ” what are my options”? The answer, ” if the cells are not destroyed they will spread through the body and probably in months or a year be fatal”. He had two options, do the chemo or roll the dice and hope you do not die of cancer. As tough as chemo treatments were , he chose life over ” cause “. You ask how do you know so many of the details, because that guy was me.

America and the world is now faced with two options, take the vaccine that does have some side effects but odds are you live, or roll the dice and refuse the vaccine hoping that you or a loved one does not contract the virus that might lead to death. Stats indicate over 600,000 plus Americans have died from Covid. Wonder what percentage of those may have lived if they had just taken the vaccine. How can you justify that question, especially if you lost a love one. Do not let your ” cause ” take the life of a love one.

Be safe.

PEOPLE: “WHAT THEY DID FOR LOVE “

Forgive me for rewording the great song from the Broadway hit ” A Chorus Line ” ( What I Did For Love ). However for this blog I would be remiss for not using ” They “.

In this world of uncertainty each of us has a grocery list of unsung heroes. Those who keep us safe, those who keep us healthy (vaccine), and those who care for us. One such group on my grocery list is a group of professionals that are tasked with the responsibility of molding our future generation. On a given day they teach, they discipline, they cry, they laugh, good or indifferent at the end of the day they take their job home with them. Yes I am referring to teachers and in particular preschool teachers.

On many occasions the teachers of the world are placed in as much of a learning situation as the student.” Ms.——, what is your favorite dinosaur, or why does the moon revolve around the earth, why do you correct me for using the word “hate”.

Every teacher that I have ever known has those ” magic moments” that stick with them forever. Let me know if any of the following resonates with you? Slime ( pardon me but it looks and feels like snot) but the children love it, Wacky Wednesday, where yes the inmates have taken over the prison, dressing up at Thanksgiving as Pilgrims and Indians ( sue me ACLU ) the children love it, and a child telling her mom she learned a new song at school called Lasagna when the song was actually Hallelujah.

Just as a carpenter’s belt holds his or her tools of the trade, teachers and preschool teachers also must have a belt of sorts. The belt must contain disinfecting wipes, band aids, Kleenex, nut free treats, hugs, shelter for the personal storm of a child and a double dose of patience.

You may ask, ” you seem to know a lot about teachers”? Well, before electricity I was one, but for the last thirteen years my better half taught preschool. I witnessed first hand the numerous times tears were shed for the happiness and sadness for her children. To attempt to mention all the wonderful children, parents, teachers and administrator would take volumes. However there was one special associate that my wife talked about constantly. She would say, ” we are like peas and carrots”.

Be safe.