Please take four minutes of your time and Google Brad Paisley’s country western video, ” I’m Going To Miss Her “, it is hilarious. And it does express one man’s love of fishing. ( side note: Paisley married the actress Kimberly Williams that appears in the video).

Being raised in my ” neck of the woods ” in Eastern N.C. we were blessed with numerous rivers, lakes, and large fishing ponds. Many dates and marriages were predicated on the question, ” Son, do you fish and hunt”? If you wanted to squire the daughter ( for the young folks that means date), the answer better be “yes”.

In my small town there was one luxury most of the mill villagers possessed, a plywood fishing boat. A person could have a two man boat, but that required a trailer. Your only method of control with the boat was two wooden paddles. You needed two in case you lost one in the river current. For the one man boat, you could wedge that sucker in the trunk of your car, put a red flag on it and off you go.

My fishing buddies were Richard and James. Richard could almost catch fish from a dry lake and then there was James. James was one of the most intelligent people I ever knew. He finished with honors in Industrial Engineering at NC State. However James never did grasp paddling a one man boat with one hand and holding a fishing pole with the other. He did have a boat trailer, so his fishing skills were more humorous than productive. In fishing vernacular, he stayed tangled up with fishing line and tree tops more than fishing”. On many occasions his antics would have made ” America’s Funniest Video’s”.

Fancy fishing gear was not required. A two day fishing trip consisted of the following: one man boats of course, three cane fishing poles ( which every general store kept in stock), small tackle box, worms for bottom fishing, crickets for top fishing, frying pan, cooking grease, cornmeal, salt, pepper, jug of fresh water, roll of toilet paper, and Pepsi. One quilt or sleeping bag for spending the night on a sandbar.

When it became to dark to fish, we headed to the sandbar to fry our catch of the day. James handled the fire, Richard cleaned the fish, and I handled the cooking. Cornbread fritters were first, then the battered fish. Dessert was Jonny cakes with hoop cheese. After talking about the ones that got away, it was bedtime. There was an old wives tale if you dug a small trench around your campsite it would keep the varmints out. ( black bears could care less about a trench if they got the smell of cooking grease in the air). Never the less, we always bunked out as close to the fire embers as possible.

Day two, we hit the river at daybreak. If we caught a mess of fish ( mess means lots ) they were taken home and divided among the neighbors. Life was simple back then. You did ” unto others as you would have them do unto you”. Hmmm!!! food for thought in today’s world.

Be safe.

No, I am not referring to Stan Lee’s ” Spiderman” introduced in comic books in 1952. ” Spider ” as he became known was a first grader and classmate of mine in 1947.

His Christian name was Carey, last name to remain anonymous. It was about the third grade when ” Spider ” began to hone his skills that lead to his nickname. At recess there was always a mad dash to the monkey bars and swing sets on the school playground. Attempting to muscle through twelve monkey bars was a feat for most of us——-until ” Spider ” made his presence. Tarzan would have been proud. He would swing three bars in succession, dismount to perfect landing, ( not a Simone Biles ) followed by two cartwheels and a forward somersault. From the third grade until graduation Carey was lovingly called Spider.

Carey was a ” tall drink of water ” with a lanky body build. Even though he was not blessed with the athletic skills the coaching staff expected, his comfort zone was hanging out with the ” jocks”. It would have been simple for Carey to get discouraged not making any of the athletic teams, but this was ” Spider “.

Spider’s pursuits were somewhat far fetched back in those days, but in hind site today he would be considered a visionary. He became enthralled with T.V wrestling to the extent of constructing his on ring, inviting all comers to take him on. He would gladly show you the techniques for an arm bar, body slam, or full Nelson. Need I remind you the WWE is one of the highest grossing events in the world. Spider’s second pursuit was to pitch on the high school baseball team. He did not have a blazing fast ball or anything close to a curve ball, but he did have his famous ” butterfly pitch “. The coaches loved Spider and agreed for him to try out for the team. Being the personality he was, the pitch was announced by Spider. Having failed miserably with any other pitches, he said with confidence, ” now I will throw my butterfly pitch”. With a slow deliberate wind up, he released the baseball arching it like a rainbow only to have in land on home plate. You guessed it, like a butterfly. Ironically two major league pitchers, Hoyt Wilhem and Phil Niekro made it to the Baseball Hall of Fame throwing a knuckleball ( the butterfly pitch ).

Our small high school would have assembly every Friday morning. The faculty always struggled for a program to ” soothe the savage beast” or student body. To everyone’s surprise, Spider volunteered for the assembly program. As the curtain rose, there was Spider in jeans and a tee shirt with the famous wrestler of the day Verne Gagne ( Google it young folks ) emblazed on the front. For twenty minutes Spider put on a performance that would make a seasoned gymnast wide eyed. He finished his routine with a slight wave, receiving a standing ovation.

There is an old adage, ” if you love something, let it go if it returns, it was yours to begin with”. After sixty-two years the memory of Spider returned.

Be safe

Customer: a person who purchases a service or product. Service: ( Webster’s definition was too wordy, so I cherry picked the definition that appealed to me) ” helpful”.

A week or so ago I picked up a nail in one of my tires. After inflating the tire for a few days I decided it was time to visit a national recognized tire franchise ( does the Indy 500 ring a bell ) for repairs. Silly me, thinking the repair would be a simple task or removing the nail, spraying the liquid for bubbles, and plugging the tire. I did wait late in the day in order to avoid the tire franchises most busy time of day. Approaching the counter ( me the customer ) asked the associate ( refer to helpful ) asked if someone could take a look at my tire issue. Without blinking an eye the associate ( refer to helpful ) stated it would be one to two days to work me in, they were very busy. I observed two open bays that silly me thought, “Wow what am I missing here”? Bet if I wanted to purchase $1200 for a new set of tires, time would not be a one or two day wait. I did the Christian thing, bit my tongue, muttered oh! h**l no and walked out. If the associate ( refer to helpful ) had only said, ” if you can leave the car for an hour we will take a look at it”. I love it when a commercial indicates ” no matter how large or how small, we are here for you”. When I do need a new set of tires rest assured, it will not be from this major tire franchise.

Maybe my thinking is considered old fashioned in our modern world. However one of the most successful chicken franchises in the world will always reply, ” My Pleasure” when your order is picked up and it is genuine . Yours truly will frequent a restaurant where the grits may not be homemade, but the service is fantastic, rather than a restaurant where the grits are homemade and the service is lousy.

As a servant of private industry there were numerous times I was asked questions not knowing if the request was doable. The life line for me was, ” I do not know if that can be accomplished, but it will be addressed immediately. Give me some time to get your answer and I will get back to you”. ( And I did. ) In our vast world of products and services, the competition has tires, computers, smart televisions, beer, food, etc. which in many instances is very comparable to what you are selling. What makes the difference ?????? buying the product or service from “YOU” ( refer to helpful).

Be safe.

OMG, another acronym from my grandchildren, ” Oh My God “. A second acronym they suggested WWJD – ” What Would Jesus Do”. Both of these acronyms seem appropriate for this blog.

By now you are aware I come from a small Southern town in Eastern N.C. As a youth, there was within reason a systematic rule for life. It was as follows: 1. Church 2. Family, 3. Preachers 4. Law Enforcement 5. Teachers.

Being raised in a Southern Baptist Church you could expect at least three revivals for the calendar year. It was a reckoning that about every four months your soul needed a spiritual boost. Unless you could not put one foot in front of the other, you attended the week long revival from Sunday to Sunday. Most revivals were conducted by a visiting preacher. His first sermon usually set the mind set for the next six. ( does ” fire and brimstone ” ring a bell.) The first sermon made you as uneasy as someone who smokes in the chicken house. I could see our regular preacher thinking, ” wish I had said that”. As I said to my mom as the week began, ” My soul is in good shape after about two sermons “. Not only did I get seven days of preaching at church, I doubled down on three more at home.

The tradition for the visiting preacher was to be the guest for dinner at the most loyal families in the church. In this case my mom. We were scheduled for a Thursday sit down supper with the visiting preacher ( refer to OMG ) prior to his sermon. Before the preacher’s arrival our mom reviewed every bad deed we had ever committed. Emphasis was placed on good table manners. “Son do not wipe your mouth with your sleeve”. After the dressing down I was thinking, ” Jesus thank you for not striking me with lightning before tonight”.

Here were the rules of conduct for the supper.” The preacher will bless the food, which may take a few minutes. You better be reverent. The preacher gets his choice of chicken parts. You will not groan if he chooses your chicken part. Do not mention that one of the deacons was napping during Tuesday’s sermon. You are to take marginal portions, in case the preacher wants seconds. Let the preacher control the conversations”.

Somewhere in the scheme of things my middle sister had a lapse in memory. As soon as mom announced, ” supper is ready”, my sister looked like an NFL fullback dodging linebackers. Her fork was in the fried chicken breast before anyone else was seated ( refer to WWJD). Mom, being the God fearing woman she was asked the preacher to bless the food as she led my sister by the ear to the back of the house. As the preacher blessed the food, my oldest sister and I prayed, ” Lord please do not let me laugh out loud”.

Be safe.

” Best Friends Forever “. I acquired that bit of text acronym from my grandchildren. Of course, they wanted to take me to a whole new dimension of acronym’s that even Einstein would have difficulty understanding. Just learning to mute my smartphone, I declined their offer. When one refers to their BFF’s is it a temporary feel good time frame or is it a relationship that truly justifies a ” best friend (s) forever”.

For me, one such justification just occurred this past weekend. Four of my college baseball teammates ( ECU ) and I met for a reunion that had been postponed from the beginning of Covid- 19. Prior to Covid this small group of friends would attend a baseball game in the Spring and a football game in the Fall. Thinking outside the box we were able to put together a meeting at a teammates residence. The war stories were still the same, how is your family, any new ailments, who was the most recent to get knee replacement, and my arthritis is worse than yours. One would have thought we were patients at a Medical Mini-Clinic rather than some washed up baseball players.

Since we have known each other for some sixty odd years, poking fun is a badge of honor. I can say unequivocally this team did have a lot of diversity. I am reminded of Toby Keith’s hit song, ” I Love This Bar “. Among the original team, there were major league baseball players, one NFL wide receiver for the Buffalo Bills, a fireman, several teachers, government executive, banker and a successful Sporting Goods Store owner to name a few. Probably the single most important bond for this group was the similarity in our upbringing. Ninety percent came from blue collar working families. There were a few privileged players but the class status never became a problem. The old saying, ” There is no ( i ) in team.

For sure with facetime, zoom, skype, and smartphones staying in touch with friends is readily available. However for this small group after sixty years of friendship a hug, fist pump, or just eye to eye contact makes is so surreal. These are truly my BFF’s.

Be safe.

If you are younger than sixty, the term POLIO maybe a new word to your vocabulary. ( For the young readers, that is not Ralph Lauren’s Polo clothing line ). In the 1940’s and 1950’s polio would paralyze or kill half-a-million people worldwide. In the early 1900’s placards were placed on homes where there were confirmed cases of polio. Families were quarantined and business’ were forced to close. Polio remained a mystery to the medical profession. ( By now you are aware of where I am going with this, but be patient the history lesson is short lived ). In 1952 Dr. Jonas Salk developed a vaccine, understandably named the Salk vaccine. In 1957 the Salk vaccine was administered throughout the United States for the prevention of polio. After a mass immunization polio was reduced from 58,000 cases to 5,600. Today polio is very rare in most countries.

In 1957 I vividly remember standing in line with my family at the national guard armory to receive a small cube of sugar infused with the Salk vaccine. In 2021′ as my wife and I sat in a long caravan of cars to receive the first Covid-19 vaccine, I was taken back to 1957′. It is easy to do the math, sixty-four years ago. Sitting in line I asked myself, ” Does history repeat itself”? My conclusion, ” Of course”. We will always have war, the wrath of mother-nature, or an epidemic that sweeps the world, but all three will happen. Not in my lifetime, but possibly yours two out of the three issues can be resolved in the interest of mankind and womankind.

Thank God for the wisdom granted to the medical and scientific community in developing the Covid-19 vaccines. Just like the cube of sugar, this too will become history.

Be safe.

Probably like most of you, we have had ( or still do ) several pets in our lives. What is ironic, I can still remember all of my dog’s names, but have trouble remembering some of my kin folks. Hmmmm!!! maybe there is a reason I do not want to remember ALL of my kin folks ( just saying).

Brownie was my first dog. Did he come with luggage, of course. In my small town a dog did not need a collar with any I.D. or chip ( like a chip existed then). The neighbors knew that dog is so and so’s dog. The dogs also knew which neighbors offered bones, cornbread, or any form of leftovers. ( side note-Google hushpuppies and see how the name came to be ). As Elmer, the town poet would say, ” that dog would eat the end off a Southbound train going North”. For the record, Random House Publishers never did beat down Elmer’s door to publish his works.

Speaking of train’s, that is how Brownie came into our lives. Many years ago train engines would give off steam. Brownie happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. The hot steam from the train scalded his right side taking the hair with it. As fate would have it, Brownie found refuge under a small bridge leading to our home. As I crossed the bridge one day, I heard a whimper. Being ” curious Joe ” suddenly I was eyeball to eyeball with a medium sized, ribs showing, sad eyed dog.

My mom was a dog lover as long as it belonged to someone else. Coaxing Brownie home, my sisters threw me under the bus as soon as mom appeared. ” Mom he has a dog and it is half dead with it’s hair missing from the right side”. Mom’s laser brown’s settled on me. I’m thinking here comes the 18th. commandment, and it did. ” Do not feed that dog. If you do it will not leave”. Mom’s 18th. said one thing but I knew her heart was saying something else. For some mysterious happening Brownie got fed. Maybe it was the lard ( for the younger followers, lard is today’s cooking oil) used for cooking everything, but Brownie got healthy, his hair grew back slowly and I had a buddy.

Everywhere I went Brownie went with me. I learned to swim at the Butler Mill Hole pond near our home. When I had the confidence to jump in water over my head finally struggling to reach the bank, Brownie was right beside me shaking the water off his back.

Brownie was with us for fourteen years, finally passing of old age. When he passed, my sisters and I gave him a proper burial with scriptures and a verse of ” Shall We Gather At The River”. Brownie had become the four legged family that we all loved. With tears in our eyes as we approached our back porch, mom met us. With tears in her eyes she said, ” If another stray dog comes here, do not feed it. If you do it will not leave”.

Be safe.

If you advocate the events at the nations capital this week, not sure we are living on the same planet. If you were reduced to tears ( as I was ) at 79 years of age, breath deep. Over my life time I felt as though I had encountered every facet of the hills and valley’s the world has to offer. The events at the nations capital on 1/6/2021 left me speechless. I had to ask myself, ” is this America’? or some third world country where mob rule is an acceptable practice.

Good bad or indifferent, America still ( by the Bill of Rights and Constitution) allows freedom of speech and assembly. On 1/6/2021 those rights were null and void. Peaceful protesting is a given right, destruction and killing at one’s free will is another.

I am not a person easily drawn to tears. My mourning and remorse is usually done in my private time, however on 1/6/2021 my heart and resolve for this country drew me to tears. Grown men and women do cry, especially now.

Be safe.

It’s beginning to look a lot like ( wait for it) ——————–Christmas. There I said it, are you happy now. For the record, I am more the ending of ” The Grinch That Stole Christmas” than the beginning.

Probably like most folks who are gluttons for Christmas punishment, we have always had two trees. The smaller tree is loving referred to as the “Charlie Brown” tree. These two tree’s for years have been a long standing tradition. I too have a long standing tradition. As dusk is setting in yours truly can be found sitting on the sofa in our living room with an adult beverage trying to solve the world’s problems. After about a minute of problem solving I resort to less stressful things.

For many years I would attempt to escape my wife’s question and answer period regarding equality of Christmas presents, did we purchase the right gift for the right person, do we have Scotch tape ( only the transparent kind), guys have you got my back on this? ( wow!! did I just throw the men under the bus?). I may be the oldest Elf on the self, because I quickly learned how to disappear to the living room. But, But, But, what to my wondering eyes would appear, not eight tiny reindeer, my wife asking, ” what are you doing”? The only thing I could come up with, ” I am counting the lights on the Christmas tree.”. Now when I suddenly disappear, rather than seek me out she will say, “counting Christmas lights”? Even though it has become a figure of speech over the years there is validity to each light I count. Light one– could be a loved one, light two– family, light three– blessings, and on and on. Grab some eggnog and try it. Amazing how many lights have meaning.

In a few days it will be the ” Big Guys” birthday. Let us all remember ” the reason for the season”. Peace on earth, good will to all.

Merry Christmas. Be safe.

” A TIME TO WEEP, AND A TIME TO LAUGH; A TIME TO MOURN, AND A TIME TO DANCE” ( ECCLESIASTES)

I know just enough about the Bible to be dangerous. Dangerous in the sense of misinterpretation or misquoting the scripture. Being raised in a Southern Baptist home any of the two afore mentioned mistakes lead to immediate banishment from the will.

I have a granddaughter when she begins her sentence with “SO”, buckle up cause here comes the “Twilight Zone”. However for this entry I must borrow her “SO”.

“SO”, as we approach the Christmas season the eighteen words from the opening Bible verse seem “so right on”. Covid-19 has created weeping, and mourning the world over in one way or another. As long as the youngest lives 2020′ will go down in history as a world changer, just as 9/11 did for many of us. “SO” with all the horrors of 2020′ is there any room left in our souls for laughter and dancing? Yours truly is making every effort to push for the old adage, ” Is your glass half-full ( optimism ) or half-empty ( pessimism ).

Since January 1, 2020 the white elephant in the room has been Covid-19. With God’s guidance, fantastic scientist, and phenomenal first responders the vaccines hopefully will offer light at the end of the tunnel. Sadly, we may never return to what is considered normal, but maybe the new normal will be more doable.

Thanksgiving allowed me the opportunity to be in the presence of my ” thirty- something and younger granddaughters and grandsons. ( we did wear mask, social distancing, and wash our hands). For once I listened more than I talked, “SO” my grandchildren did not disappoint. Their conversations were filled with laughter, kidding each other, boy talk–girl talk, upbeat attitudes, making fun of the “old guy” and ( wait for it) acting normal.

Without sounding braggadocious, these are smart children that realize the status of an upside down world, but for a short period of time their glasses were half-full. It was quite contagious. Be safe.